Introduction to the Wheel of Consent

Introduction to the Wheel of Consent – Course Trailer:

• 2 minutes of the may I will you game (aka the 3 minute game) from the Wheel of Consent.
• In the serve accept dynamic: the person doing the touch is setting aside their their desires, but remains responsible for the limits of what they are willing to offer.
• The person who is being touched is practicing noticing and communicating their desires, asking moment by moment for whatever would feel really great.

This video course is a FREE introduction to the Wheel of Consent.

You can watch the whole course below, or subscribe to True Self TV where you will find lots of other theory and guided practice videos.

Rose C Jiggens
Somatic & Family Constellations Practitioner.

Introduction to the Course:

• Who we are – Rupert J Alison and Rose C Jiggens.
• This is a video version of a live course we have been running together since 2018.

Overview of the course:

• How the wheel of consent fits into other models of consent.
• A solo touch practice.
• A partnered touch practice – the may I will you game.
• Drawing the wheel – the wheel of consent model.

Why Learn About Consent?

• Consent is simple – isn’t it?
• A series of statements to explore consent culture as it is in everyday life.
• If you struggle with consent, you are not alone.

What is Consent? Sexual Consent From 1970s Onwards:

• A definition of consent.
• Examples of social consent, medical consent, online consent, relationship consent, physical touch consent, sexual consent.
• Some common reasons why consent isn’t always straightforward.
• Sexual consent – a brief history from the 1970s onwards.
• Some quotes about consent from consent educators.

Our Personal Consent Histories:

• We are trained to not notice our limits from a very young age.
• Betty Martin developed the Wheel of Consent:
• It helps people to notice, and communicate, what kind of touch they want and what feels good.
• The wheel of consent is a model that clarifies consent agreements in all areas of life.
• Its also an embodied practice to help us tune into our bodies and notices whats really true.

Waking the Hands – Introduction and Demo:

• Waking the Hands: a solo practice to explore our own relationship with our sense of touch.
• Focusing on whats happening inside of your skin.
• Three things that make the practice click!
• Slowing down, rest your shoulders and arms, lean back to engage your parasympathetic nervous system.

Waking the Hands – Guided Practice Space:

• An 8 minute guided practice video, for awakening the pleasure in your own hands.
• You will need a chair you can lean back in, a cushion and some objects you might loke to touch.
• You will probably notice and name the object first.
• Slowing down and noticing what’s going on inside your hands.
• Exploring the possibility that something might feel good or nice.

Waking the Hands – Further Information:

• Waking the hands is a practice.
• Your hands hold the possibility to be very sensitive!
• Doing the practice is also rewiring neural pathways.
• Waking up your hands radically improves the quality of your touch.
• Whatever happens in the practice is ok, its all part of the practice.
• The practice may reveal your basic relationship with pleasure.
• Waken up your feel good love hormones!
• Neurodiversity – possible adaptions.

May I Will You Game (3 minute game) – Introduction:

• Moving from waking the hands – a solo practice – to touching another person, we need consent!

• Who is doing something and who is it for?

• An example of what can happen when these two questions aren’t clarified.

• These two questions open up different kinds of consent agreements, which can be explored using the may I will you game, an embodied practice using touch.

   

Take Allow – Introduction and Demo:

• In the take allow dynamic, the question asked is “may I touch your hand and arm, in ways that feel good for me?”
• The person doing the touch is putting their desires first, exploring “what feels really good and nice for me?”
• The person who is being touched is putting their desires to one side, whilst also practicing looking after their limits by saying “pause” or “stop”.
• The demo ends with a sharing of what was experienced in the practice.

Take Allow – Guided Practice Space:

• An opportunity for you and another person to follow along and experience the take allow touch dynamic, the first dynamic of exchange in the 3 minute game from the wheel of consent.
• A guided practice space of 12 minutes, for you and another person to experience one round of the take allow dynamic.
• If you both agree to, you can play the video again so that you get a chance to experience both take and allow.
• Don’t forget to take time at the end to share your experiences.

Serve Accept – Introduction and Demo:

• An introduction and demonstration of the serve accept dynamic, in the may I will you game (3 minute game).
• In the serve accept dynamic, the question asked is “will you touch my hand and arm, in ways that feel good for me?”
• The person doing the touch is setting aside their their desires, but remains responsible for the limits of what they are willing to offer.
• The person who is being touched is practicing noticing and communicating their desires, asking moment by moment for whatever would feel really great.
• The demo ends with a sharing of what was experienced in the practice.

Serve Accept – Guided Practice Space:

• A opportunity for you and another person to follow along and experience the serve accept touch dynamic from the 3 minute game, wheel of consent.
• A guided practice space of 10 minutes.
• If you both agree to, you can play the video again so that you get a chance to experience both serve and accept.
• Don’t forget to share your experiences with each other at the end.

Drawing The Wheel:

• The Wheel of Consent is a model: in this video we draw the wheel and describe the model.
• WHO IS DOING, AND WHO IS IT FOR?
• These 2 questions, lead to 4 possible quadrants for each of which a different consent agreement is required.
• Looking at all four quadrants of the wheel of consent.
• Looking at the four halves of the wheel of consent.
• A few words from Betty Martin, the creator of the Wheel of Consent.

Further Learning Resources:

• Some integration questions and further resources for learning about the wheel of consent.
• What did you notice about the quadrants and your own experiences of them?
• The benefits of learning the Wheel of Consent in a group.
• Links for further learning:
• This course is free content from True Self TV subscription channel: somatic guided practices and learning resources.
• For University Consent Training – Rupert J Alison – The Art of Consent
• For certified Wheel of Consent trainers around the globe: The School of Consent
• The Wheel of Consent Book: The Art of Receiving and Giving – Dr. Betty Martin
• Free videos from Wheel of Consent creator Betty Martin.

Further Ways to Learn With True Self TV:

• More guided practice videos for Waken the Hands with further instruction and development of the practice.
• Transforming Touch: Transforming Touch® supports the healing of developmental trauma with a less is more approach, that prioritises building nervous system regulation. The healing triangle (your kidney adrenals and brainstem) featured in this course, offers an experiential introduction to Transforming Touch®.
• Trauma Sensitive Breathwork: This course offers a trauma sensitive approach to breathwork, drawing on teachings such as Polyvagal Theory and embodied consent practices. It includes introductory theory and practice, supporting the development of a personal breathwork practice.
• SEO for Therapists: Primarily for therapists and other alternative practitioners: learn how to use search engine optimisation, to unite what you do best with those whom you can best serve. A thorough introductory course: learn how to identify keywords, optimise your own website or your therapy website listings. Includes somatic practices to help you remain grounded and aligned with your soul work.