Poly Friendly Therapist

Alternative relationship therapy

Poly Friendly Therapist – Overview

Hello, I am Rose: a poly friendly therapist and educator offering Family Constellations, Trauma Sensitive Breathwork and Wheel of Consent® teachings. I am a good person to see when you want an approach that offers more than ‘just talking’. I have a number of ways to help you with the problems that you bring – and support you in your growth – summarised below.

I also happen to find consensual non monogamy suits me best: Bisexual and Queer I live with my two partners and chosen family. Whether you are engaged in polyamory, consensual non monogamy or just thinking about it – whatever your gender, sexuality or relationship diversity – you are welcome here.

I live in London, UK, I mostly work online though have some in person availability. I have a sliding scale of prices to widen inclusivity. Here is a summary of the main ways we can work together:

Poly Friendly Breathwork and Inner Child Healing

This area of my practice works well when you suspect things that happened in the past (especially childhood and teens) are negatively impacting your present relationships. Its for healing the kinds of stuff that is repeatedly triggered and keeps tripping up your close relationships.

I have evolved my breathwork practice to be trauma sensitive. I use a plural selves / parts work approach and trauma specific psychoeducation (e.g. orienting, titration, pendulation), enabling the breath to unfurl and deepen as your nervous system heals.

This area of my work is underpinned by a training in Supporting the Healing of Developmental Trauma along with further CPD hours taken with Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk, Pat Ogden and NICABM.

I combine an attachment based approach (for this area of my work) with also understanding that attachment theory is often written about through a heteronormative lens. For more on this Polysecure by Jessica Fern is an eminently good read!

Sessions are generally weekly or fortnightly for at least 3 months, shorter work is sometimes ok too.

Poly Friendly Family Constellations

We can use a constellation to map the present – people, dynamics, desired outcomes, blocks – in a situation. We might also use this when you think the past (especially your deeper ancestry) is negatively impacting your present.

We talk about the issues that you bring in the context of the systems in which they reside. The relevant system could be: your family of origin, past relationships and events, belief systems, cultural systems, a current community, organisation – or something else altogether.

Next we constellate (i.e. lay out a ‘map’) which may use figures, inner vision or floor markers. Insights emerge from postition and placement, sentences and most of all – the felt sense in your body. A constellation is good for a single standalone session (one theme) or can be used in longer ongoing work.

Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent®

These consent teachings would benefit any and all relationships: in the context of polyamory, consensual non monogamy and other forms of alternative relating, they are an absolute must!

The Wheel of Consent® is an embodied practice and agreement model, describing dynamics of exchange that take place in relationship of all kinds. The practice and theory combined help us negotiate clear and consensual agreements in all areas of life. The Wheel of Consent® can support your relationship enquiries by offering:

an embodied practice to support you noticing and communicating your desires
an embodied practice to support you noticing and communicating your boundaries
a body of theory supporting greater clarity in all sorts of relationship exchanges
a diagnostic tool to help unpick what happened, when things have gone wrong

Who Are My Clients?

People often see me individually for their ongoing journeys of healing and growth. My clients are universally people who enjoy the benefits of a tool set that offers more than ‘just talking’. They like the embodiment practices that help them see deeper into a situation, along with a psycho-education approach meaning they learn skills for life.

Themes may be specifically Poly related, however many people simply want to explore other areas of their life knowing that they won’t trip over harmful or inappropriate responses when they mention their alternative relationship experiences and choices. Poly specific themes might include:

emotions arising opening up a relationship
being the third person in a polyamorous relationship
making polyamourous relationship agreements

Most of my client base are individuals – I sometimes see two or more people. This tends to work well when you are seeking an educative aproach: e.g. the most common is learning the wheel of consent® together over a few sessions and using it as a diagnostic tool with my support. Sometimes a constellation can be a great way for two or more people to look at patterns, dynamics, shed light and gain clarity about a specific situation. Sometimes inner child healing as a psycho-educative approach, can support learning to differentiate parts (adult, inner child, protector parts, trauma parts etc) helping to better navigate tricky relationship situations.

If you want to attend as a Polycule please contact me to see discuss and see if I have the appropriate tools for your situation. In regards to longer term sex and relationship therapy for two or more people attending sessions together, I would suggest seeking a COSRT trained therapist with specific sex and relationship therapy skills.

Poly Friendly Ways of Working

Regarding being ‘kink and poly friendly’: as this is my own lived experience, I have needed to learn approaches and tools that support alternative ways of relating. I bring all this experience to sessions which is a positive benefit, I also bring lived experience of how alternative relationships can be pathologised when seeking help. I take care to filter out harmful historical aspects of the tools that I use, through robust regular supervision with Psychotherapist DK Green and ongoing CPD.