Ending Well

An Exercise to Support Letting Something (or Someone) Go.

An Exercise to Support Letting Something (or Someone) Go.

You can use this exercise to support an ending that you are contemplating. I am writing this blog as we approach the end of 2025; you could use it in your end of year reflections. Perhaps a job, relationship or situation is coming to an end. Perhaps you have a habit you would like to explore leaving behind you. Choose a situation within which you feel (or would like to cultivate) enough agency to draw it to a close and end it well. I.e. please don’t choose a situation in which you are at risk of harm.

The exercise draws on sentences regularly used in Family & Systemic Constellations. The sentences are intended as reflection prompts, they may in themselves also create a shift towards ending something well. You will need some uninterrupted reflection time and space. You might want a journal to make notes. You can do the exercise sitting down or standing. There is an instruction part way through to turn around, being able to actually physically turn around and face the other way can be helpful. Choose a topic for reflection – something that you would like to end well – and then work through the steps below:

Take some time settling into your body. You could notice your feet on the ground, or all the points of contact between your body and your chair. You could notice your breathing for a while. Once you feel settled and ready …
Sense, feel or imagine whatever you want to ‘end well’ appearing in front of you. You may see something or someone specific, that represents whatever is ending. Or it may just be a felt sense of “the year” opening out in front of you. Next you are going to say a series of sentences, each one is a prompt for reflection. It can be good to say the sentence out loud a few times.

There are actions I have yet to complete.

This sentence may surface actions or steps you can take, to draw something to completion. If there are achievable actions that are within your power to complete, you can note those down. Sometimes, we need to spend some time sitting and being with things that are incomplete, and perhaps with the grief of what is and will remain undone. Sometimes, we need someone else to undertake an action, to draw something to completion. In this case you might add “I will complete what is mine to complete and leave the rest with you.” Spend some time breathing and being with whatever is incomplete in this situation.

It is completed.

Now it is time to breathe, sense and feel into the next statement. “It is completed”. Give it some time to ripple through your body. What might it feel like for this to be completed? It might feel like a relief, or easy and very clear that something is complete. Or else you might find parts of you that struggle with this sentence. Can you gently be with those parts and give them space to express? Pehaps journal and reflect on what needs attending to, in order for something to end well. Some prompts in the paragraph below may help.

I am grateful

Sometimes in an effort to leave or end something, we may reject or push it away. That’s ok and understandable (and this maybe an absolutely essential thing to do). But if our departure is not a matter of survival – if we desire and have the space to end something well – then oftentimes reflecting on what we are grateful for, can help us to end well. What did this situation teach you, even if the lesson wasn’t an easy one?

In the case of a habit you would like to let go of, this sentence can be particularly powerful. What has the habit helped you to cope with? How has it soothed you? Sometimes the sentence “I am grateful” really isn’t appropriate. Here are some others to try out. Again, say them out loud and see if one of them helps you to feel more settled and move onto the next stage of the exercise:

“I take what is mine and leave the rest with you.”
“You have your fate and I have mine.”
“Our paths go different ways from here.”
“I seperate so that I can grow.”
“I am ready to let you go” or “I am nearly ready to let you go.”
“Not yet but soon, this will be behind me.”

When you feel enough settling and are ready to try the next step, then physically turn around and say …

It is all behind me now.

You have spent a long time looking towards this situation that you would like to end well. At some point, this situation could be behind you and in the past. Notice, what does it feel like for this situation to be physically behind you? How does it feel to look in a new direction where you can no longer see this situation? Breathe with that a while, notice what happens in your body.

If you wish, you can also try taking a step forwards. Or you could also try some of these sentences below and see how they feel. Through the sentences you are looking for whatever feels true: that truth will ripple through your body as just a little settling or opening.

“This is new.”
“I am learning.”
“In time, I will get used to this new perspective.”
“This space before me is empty, it is scary but I am ready to face it.”
“I stand at a new threshold.”
“Something new is before me, I will take a step forward to greet it.” (you might even see something that represents the new, standing before you).

So, you have come to the end of this ending well exercise! Take some time to journal what you have noticed. Sometimes this exercise will offer prompts for further work and reflection. Sometimes it will create a shift in perspective that supports you with ending well. Whatever you have seen, please do your best to be kind with yourself. For further work you might consider: