Medicine stories: session summaries shared with permission, highlighting the ancestral origins of issues, and how family constellations can bring insight or resolution. All names have been changed.
Presenting theme: manifesting money
When it comes to manifesting money, Richard feels he exists within a narrow band that allows him to rent a home and make ends meet every month, but never more. If we explore what having “more” feels like it gives rise to feelings of exposure and threat. He also imagines that a greedy devil otherwise kept in check, might arise and overtake him.
The family constellation
We use inner visualisation on Skype.
When discussing his tree, an obvious source presents itself in the form of his paternal Grandfather who inherited a large sum of money and went down the pub to celebrate. Buying everyone in the pub that night a drink, he enjoyed the feeling so much that he did the same the next night, and the next, and the next …
The family story goes that he was never a drinker up until this point, but that the pattern repeated until he had drunk or given away the inheritance, and moved beyond into debt. His family disowned him, he left in disgrace and his son (Richards father) took on the role of the man of the house for his Mother.
The story provides an obvious potential source of his issue. However I notice feeling that it all seems too easy – like the answer has been handed to me on a plate. The words of my teacher ring in my ears – to be wary of the obvious answer which can actually mask something else.
I begin exploring through some breath work – inviting Richard to visualise himself at a young age and see how it is to encounter his parents from the perspective of his inner child. Encountering his mother is easy, he can see her very clearly. Encountering his father is another matter though – he describes things as keeping on “dissolving” at this point.
I test out a simple systemic statement – “You gave me the gift of life”. He goes silent for a long time and I notice also that I keep drifting off. When I ask whats happening, he says “well, I am not sure I can say it”.
He goes on to tell me that his mother was probably not monogamous when dating his Father. His siblings joke that he looks like his Mother but nothing at all like his Father. The story goes that his parents married as a result of his own accidental conception, however he has wondered deep down if someone else is actually his real Father.
I contemplate the “greedy devil” he began to embody earlier in the session. I had assumed this character related to the story of his Grandfather apparently becoming alcoholic after an inflow of cash. However – now it is cast in an entirely different light.
I ask him if he is willing to reflect inwardly for a while on the two statements “you gave me the gift of life” and “someone else gave me the gift of life”. I wonder what he will discern as he moves internally between these two statements. In the meantime I wonder where to go next and feel lost for a while.
In the gap I find myself reflecting upon the nature of conception and birth. What is it like I wonder, to consider ourselves the result of a “greedy accident” as oppose to a deliberate and considered act of creation? Did his Father – suspecting his son might not be his own – unconsciously offer a subsistence level of giving, no more no less than absolutely necessary for survival? Is this reflected in what Richard allows himself by way of manifesting money now?
Conception, pregnancy and birth also offer us a route map for conceiving ideas, shaping and giving birth to them. Then we may receive back the pleasure of seeing our creation expand beyond us into the world, shaping it anew. In that way creations may begin smaller but grow bigger than us, and come round to return a mirror of what we have input.
We may receive in this way from any creation – whether business projects or children. And of course also, it is not a given that we will. So many factors combine, so our creations require a deep humility of surrender to the unknown also. They require us to invest for investments own sake, then practice a deep letting go into the world.
I know Richard to be highly accomplished and creative in several fields – one might ask why is he not manifesting money from his creations? Perhaps he has a block around receiving the rewards of his creations if his actual Father – if this is someone else – never received the rewards of his creation, through the knowing of his own son?
Alternatively could the mere suspicion around paternity, block the man who has raised him (if he is actually his biological Father) from enjoying his own son? Without knowing the truth, for a while I am stumped as to how to proceed (and perhaps afterall this is a mirror). Then some words seem to pour forth from me in an uncharacteristically emphatic way.
I know that Richard has a rich spiritual life and therefore has some resonance with concepts such as the higher self. I ask “so if you have a higher self, then your Father does too, is that right?” He affirms this is true, then the following statements come through:
From the perspective of the higher self of your Father, your conception and birth was absolutely planned and wanted. It was a very precise karmic contract, creating exactly the conditions both of you needed to experience in this lifetime. Your conception and birth – from this perspective – was an absolutely premeditated, deliberate and intentional act.
I then ask him to tune in and feel the presence of his Fathers higher self behind him. I ask him to feel it holding him, to breathe deeply and lean back into him and eventually to thank him for the gift of life. He relaxes deeply and for some time into this place. When this completes I suggest he could draw a picture of his Fathers higher self, place it at the top of his bed – to feel himself being held by this presence as he goes to sleep until he integrates this new inner picture.
The language I used in this constellation felt intuitively right for Richards experiences and belief systems, in another context I might take a different course. Systemically there would be more to untangle towards his goal of manifesting more money. Additionally there are practical steps around establishing paternity that could be undertaken should he choose. But this one session alone enabled him to “feel into my deep feeling of lack of connection from my Dad, and to replace it with something else which feels very powerful.”